Living Into The Future While Being Mindful of the Past

by David Billings

I want to begin by explaining what these stories are and why I am telling them.

What follows will be a series of reflections—stories, really—about my life and why I do what I do. I share them so that anyone who listens or reads will have some sense of the context in which they arise. These stories are not meant to be perfectly factual accounts. I am speaking off the cuff in many ways, reflecting in the moment.

Dr. David Billings ,a lifelong learner, teacher and sharer of his life story.

Part of my motivation is simply to create a record. I want to leave something behind for myself and perhaps for my children and grandchildren—something that speaks to the experiences and influences that, in my view, have shaped my life and the work I have been part of. These stories are meant to illustrate that.

As I start telling them, I notice that many of them look backward. They recall things that have already happened. But I also want to look forward. My life did not stop in the past.

Since the 1980s especially, there has been a great deal going on—movements, organizations, struggles for justice that I have been part of and that continue today. These reflections are not only about what I once did; they are also about what I am still doing and what I hope to do.

In that sense, they may become part of a legacy—though “legacy” is a complicated word. These reflections might simply be for me, a way of putting something down about my life. But perhaps others will read them someday. I do not know what form they will ultimately take. They might become a book, or they might remain journals.

My sister-in-law, Corinne, published a short book just last year about events in her life that helped make her who she is. When I read it, I found it fascinating. I learned things about her that I had never known. That experience made me think: perhaps there is value in doing something like that myself.

So these stories are not meant to be a traditional memoir, even though they will certainly contain elements of one. I want them to include the present as well as the past—to reflect what I am doing now and what I still hope to do.

I am nearly eighty years old. I am seventy-nine as I say this. At this stage of life, it seems worthwhile to leave behind some reflections on the times in which I have lived. That is what I am attempting here.

A Word to Younger Generations

People sometimes ask if I have anything I would say to young people today, especially considering everything that is happening in our country.

I suppose I do.

I would tell them that there has never been a time in the history of the United States when everything was just, equitable, and settled. There have been moments when we moved closer to those ideals—periods when human rights expanded and when efforts toward what we call anti-racism gained ground. But there has never been a moment when the country was free of turmoil or struggle around these issues.

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. in his life was seen as a radical agitator by the powers that be.

The stories I am telling place my own life within that larger context. I am someone who has lived a fairly long life and who continues to live and remain active in organizations and movements. Those are stories we will talk about later.

But the larger question often arises: will the racial divisions created by this country’s history ever truly reach equality?

I believe that will take a very long time.

The intention for equality may exist. But we are dealing with deeply ingrained institutional dynamics—systems that were historically designed to privilege white people. That reality is part of what we mean when we talk about white supremacy. And by that term, I am not speaking only about people who openly hate. White supremacy also includes people like myself, who benefit from systems of privilege even while we try to work toward equity across lines of race, class, and gender.

Even when we commit ourselves to justice, we often do so from a starting point shaped by that privilege.

The "race" is fixed from the onset as the advantage is given immediately to some.

And again, there has never been a time in this nation’s history when those dynamics were absent.

Today, there are political leaders who would prefer to tell the nation’s history differently—to highlight only the honorable or admirable parts of our past. And certainly there have been many good things in this country. But there are also other realities that must be faced honestly.

Right now, we are not standing on equal ground.

Dr. King once described it using the image of a relay race. Some runners begin the race with a head start, and they continue to build on that advantage. Their children and grandchildren inherit it as well. Naturally, we want our own families to flourish. But at the same time, we hope for a day when that head start no longer defines the race.

Dr. King dreamed of a time when people would not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.

As a nation, we are not there yet.

So these reflections are my attempt to speak my own truth about that power dynamic and about the times in which I have lived.